Dreaming again

I usually only like to write up here if it is entertaining or deeply moving, but i need to keep a journal somewhere, so why not share it with the world?

I dreamt that I bought a new car last night! Those of you who know me and my car are probably rather surprised by this as most people this of my current vehicle and I as somewhat akin to organ sharing siamese twins; possibly seperable, but it’s going to be messy.

The catch is I kept my old car in the dream, and the new car i bought was almost exactly the same, except it was an automatic instead of stick-shift. I kept Jenna as my project/play car, revising and revisiting. The new one was really nice, and familiar enough that it wasn’t a total change. In reality I am just going to buy a motorcycle for my next vehicle.

Oddly enough I’ve been dreaming of an old friend of mine alot lately. I’m sure it is through no fault of my own, but I have a strange habit of losing long standing friends. Not through drifting apart or anything, because I am surprisingly good at keeping track of people when i want to, but losing them suddenly and drastically for no apparent reason at all.

The common theme is this; I am friends with a person for many years. I keep in touch, remember birthdays and holidays. I go to see them when I am in town and am generally close with their family and friends as well. Then, one day I shoot them an email or a phone call saying hello, and 1) am promptly informed they no longer wish to associate with me, or 2) in less common scenarios, despite repeated attempts to initiate contact, they never answer the phone or email again.

Strange that people would be so upset by me. I’m not sure how or why it happens, I just rather wish it didn’t. The crazy thing is, the friend of mine who i have been dreaming of alot lately, seems to only despise me in spurts. Not those kind of spurts.

I even get emails and such from an anonymous person, whom i believe to be the same as my estranged friend. I’m not sure if they think it is easier for me or for them to communicate in such a fashion. We’ll refer to this person as Jazz from now on.

Jazz seems to feel this pull as strongly as i do. Some people are a part of your life, no matter what. The older you get, the smaller your pool of friends becomes. That makes the people that remain that much more important and meaningful.

So I guess no matter how much people dislike the person I have become, I still relish the experiences that made me this way. No matter how much others try to push the adventurous and wild parts of us back inside the shell of respectability and social caste, they still pop up from time to time.

Maybe that’s part of growing up: the denial of self. The reformation of the soul and the removal of youths capricious trappings. If so, I hope i don’t feel the need to excise the remaining people who matter to me. I like my adventures, such as they are. I’d even like more of them.

It’s not like every night can be a Vegas road trip topped with well-fitted blue jeans and pink lingerie… but they sure are nice when they come along.