Unique Weekend

The anesthetic must be wearing off early because I am waking up and the dentist is still using his drill. My face is vibrating all over the place and my left cheek is both numb and uncomfortable at the same time.

Wait.

I’m not at the dentist. So, why is my face making like Michael J. Fox?

I’m still in bed, thankfully as there is no sunlight coming in the window and it must be early. I roll over hoping to fix my face and the annoyance moves into my ear. Removing my cel phone from the side of my face where it had glued itself when i fell asleep, I vow to move the cel phone charger as far away from my bed as possible.

Tuesday morning. 5:10 am. My phone is trying to tell me I’m already behind schedule.

It takes me about 4 trips to get all the items i need for the days activities into the car. Water, laptop, protein, books, sunglasses, ID, gym clothes.

Hitting the gym is never a walk in the park, and it becomes less so before 6 am, but that is the only time I have to go, so here I am. Running, Biking, Squats, Lunges, I know I am going to be walking funny tomorrow, but that’s the drill. And through the whole thing I am thinking about the things I did and people I spent my weekend with. It was a fantastic time.

I’ll include some pictures to illustrate the story as I go along.

I found a bad ass frog outside on thursday night. I almost smashed him thinking he was a cricket, but as my foot descended on him, he didn’t even flinch. Made me think he might not be a cricket at all, since i did this once before and that frog wasn’t quite so lucky.

I clicked on the garage light and bam! there he was. So I took him inside for an impromptu photo shoot. He wasn’t a very good model, but for about 5 minutes I had a pet frog, and it was thrilling.

Friday a buddy of mine invited me to the Autumn Moon Festival at the Chinese Cultural Center on 44th street. Sounded like fun, so I took off from work and hit the place up, expecting backflipping whoopass monks dueling it out with golden dragons and stone monkeys for the fate of the moon. Unfortunately, it was mostly old people doing Tai Chi and little kids singing and dancing.

There were some really cool high points to the night, though. The announcer told the story of the Autumn Moon, which basically amounts to “women are scandalous, even in ancient China.” Then a troop of martial arts guys dressed up like Resident Evil zombies and fought some other guys for the right to wear shiny MC Hammer pants. Then the winner of the MC Hammer pants bust out with the dragon costume and really kicked some butt.

(Note the MC Hammer shiny pants!!!)

I met the Asian Rodeo Prom Queen (or something) from a few years ago, and she was pretty cool. She followed me around most of the night begging for my autograph, i think she thought I was a movie star (which I am, but mostly home movies!!!) and I finally let her take a picture with me to prove to all her friends that she had hooked up with this gorgeous younger famous guy.

Then Saturday we went to a dairy farm out in the middle of the desert. It was impressively stinky at times, but the milk shakes and ice cream at the end were superb. We went on a tour with a bunch of girl scouts and bored parents and learned how milk was made and where baby cows come from (a machine!) and got to feed some of the babies.

There was one baby that looked alot like the Asian Rodeo Prom Mistress that we named Amy. To be fair, it was a very pretty cow.

Next, after a hard day of chasing cows, it was time for beer! We took off for Octoberfest in Tempe and had a ball. Most of the people there hadn’t showered recently, so it was disturbingly similar in olfactory onslaught to the dairy farm.

Once in the door to the beer garden, we were greeted by a scary band of misfits bound for hijinks and wacky adventures. From there on out it was a steady stream of lederhosen and thongs.

This guy asked me if I wanted to help him in the port-a-potty. I politely declined, but thought I would take his picture so I could poke fun at him.

These dudes are long lost high school sweet hearts that had just been reunited. In looking at this picture again I have to wonder… Where is that guys hand?!

These two are father and son I think. Look at the way their clothes and posture are perfectly matched.

These two were hilarious! They were full swing in the middle of a domestic dispute at the beer dispenser. They were yelling and screaming and then started throwing beer at each other. I happened to be close enough to get some on me, as you can clearly see the dark spot on my shirt from his hefeweizen.

So, after this much fun, I was wiped out! We were supposed to go to a “Pirate Party” afterwards, but I was in no shape to do any more running around that night, so I just hit my pillow and didn’t move again till sunday morning. Thank God for whoever invented Breakfast!

So, laughing about the weekend and the animals carries me through the 2 hours of daily bodily abuse at the gym, and a half hour trip down the freeway to the office. I’m using my lunchbreak to write some thoughts down and do a last minute review of my code that I have to turn in for class tonight; which I’m looking forward to like a Nascar driver staring down a brick wall.

Cheers.