Ok, so today was the first official Injury day of the week.
Three of us have fallen to the mighty majesty of these frozen slopes; though we be battered, bruised, or in slings and casts we will rise again!
First off, some Gaper while leaving the lodge, slipped on some ice while trying to cool his hot chocolate. His resultant fall shattered his elbow and ended his vacation a little shorter than he planned.
Second, yours truly almost killed a 5 yeard old girl on skis. I was flying down a run called Another World, aptly named as it provides a fantastic view of the litle peoples below, when three little girls on skis cut right across my path. Taking evasive manuevers, i quickly decided the best course of action would be to bounce down the icy slope on my tailbone about ten times. Given my weight and velocity, it didn’t feel that great.
I lay there for about ten minutes until some nice European lady asked me if I was dead. Being the big tough guy that I am, I jumped up and informed here I was perfectly ok, and limped my way back down the hill.
Last and certainly not least, Lance decided he needed to show both of us how it was done.
By breaking his back.
I have pictures, but I need to get my laptop bag back before I can upload, so I’ll just describe it.
Another world, splits off into a cat track called Ripsaw. It is relatively narrow and has alot of grooves from the traffic, causing people to catch an edge more often than Brad Pitt catches panties.
Lance caught his edge, having to rapidly shift his weight to adjust and as such ripped something. I’m not sure what… maybe his affrobohedia majorus, but whatever it was, it was bad and it got worse.
He was able to make it to the bottom of the run, but collapsed and couldn’t stand up again. After 5 attempts over the span of half an hour, he finally allowed us to call the paramedics.
As much as i like riding snowmobiles, i never want to get towed behind one as he was. It hadn’t snowed all day, but the snowmobile made sure that Lance didn’t know that.
Being the team player that I am, I figured there was no reason that all of us had to miss out on a day of snowboarding, so I took off and kept going till the end of the day. I know, I’m so loveable.
Good thing I did, though. After they closed all the lifts and I finally got the bottom of the mountain, he was still on the stretcher, trying to convince the Ski Patrol that he did not need an ambulance.
After much ado about everything, I got to help lift the stretcher out of the van it was in and watch him roll himself out and crawl into the back of his jeep, looking like Marv Albert after a night of rough sex.
So, here I am, sitting in my sister’s office while they are off at the doctor’s office checking into how much it will cost to rebuild him. I’m pretty sure he won’t be Colonel Steve Austin, but it may just cost about 6 million dollars.
Last update was that they are still at the doc’s debating what to do, so I am about to sign off and grab a bus in search of food. I’ve been eating like a mental patient this week. Anything and everything I can get my hands on. Mmmmm… crayons…
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