Julio Gonzales, one of my closest friends, was killed this morning in a motorcycle crash. He’s dead. He was 24.
We rode together often and had nearly matching bikes and almost identical riding styles. I bought my first helmet from him. We worked together, so I have come to my office; unsure of what else to do. I can’t find the one person that I want to take solace in.
We were supposed to go on a motorcycle ride this weekend. We should be laughing and suiting up, instead I’m here alone; afraid of the freedom that machine afforded me.
Julio and I had been going through very similar personal territory lately and had spent alot of time confiding in and supporting one another in harsh moments of miserable reality. He invited me to ride out to his home town and meet his family. I’ll meet them soon. These aren’t the circumstances I wanted to meet them under, but it appears that’s been decided without my input… as have been so many other things lately.
With all the closeness and similarity, this is probably striking closer to home than it may have done otherwise. Maybe I’m over reacting; people die everyday. But when your circle is this small and connected, if you remove one piece it is glaring: a rupture.
In some moments, I think it seems rude and inappropriate of me to be this sad. The next second i feel justified in these tears. I suppose there is no right or wrong, the emotion is it’s own justification. I sat at his desk for a while this morning. The book he was reading is sitting here with a picture I gave him as a book mark.
With all this similarity, I can’t help but wonder if I died, what would I leave undone. Like this book with the picture showing the point where he stopped; incomplete.
Goodbye, my friend; my Warrior Poet. You will be missed.
——————————————————————————————————–
Julio and I were acquaintances. I could see from what I knew about him that he was sweet, lovable, caring, and funny. He was a good man. I am deeply troubled to learn this news and and so very sorry for his friends and loved ones – my heart goes out to you. I will pray for you, Julio, and may you get the best seat in heaven. God bless you! You will never be forgotten down here on Earth…we will never forget you and your sweet smile.
Dude.
Jules, you kicked ass, man. I know that, no matter how hard I wish and hope it was untrue, this is the way it is. This is so abrupt. I’m shocked. I’m stunned. I’m sad. I want to pick you up, little buddy. I want you to walk in the next happy hour with your I Love Bathroom Stalls t-shirt on. Please make this a cruel joke, bro. I’d rather be pissed at you and want to punch you in the face than let this be the truth…you were awesome, man. I definitely won’t forget you or the fun we had, man. We shared some laughs, that’s for sure. Thanks for being who you were.
There are few moments in the dark lives of some when clouds part and something great is there for you…for us. Julio was that at least. He was one of the few poets that have left a mark on my life.
He will be missed dearly.
I could always count on Julio to make me smile no matter what kind of day I was having. We’d known each other for years but never taken the time to get to know each other. I regret that now as I know he was one of the shining lights of this world and one of the people truely worth knowing.
Your smiles, your laughs, and your spirit will be missed.
i’m writing this as though he can read it, but i just want to pretend i can talk to him for just a minute.
julio – i’m listening to your vampire weekend cd…i can’t believe i can’t give it back to you. that line from campus “how am i supposed to pretend i never want to see you again”… all those hours we spent talking about life and religion and what it all means… i just left you a message last night to tell you i finally watched juno like you wanted me to. i miss you so much already. it was too soon for you, sweetie, too soon.
An extremely tragic loss…
Julio – we sat on the side of the road together for a few hours a couple weeks back. I am really glad I had that time with you. I went on a ride for you today as I know you would want us to keep riding. This is indeed a tragic loss and it is very hard to let go.
I really don’t know what to say except from my own experience that broken hearts can heal and come out stronger and wiser than before.
Julio you will be greatly missed. “After were gone, the spirit carries on.”
High five Julio!
High five for all of the laughs. High five for all of the tears. Shocked by the stories of the morning, I sit here unable to shed a tear. You have moved all of us, Julio, in so many ways! There are no words to describe the type of person you were, for you were definitely one of a kind. So, here I sit with a hand raised in the air, waiting for your high five from heaven so that I can truly be touched by an angel. We love you brother and will always have a high five for you!
I am so glad to have known you, Julio. Everything you did was true and had meaning. You could never be replaced. Memories of you will linger everywhere but there will be a smile in our hearts just thinking of what a unique person you were.
Ride on in the clouds my friend… you will be missed!
Julio, your amazing energy will be missed. I enjoyed listening to your funny anecdotes every day. You were one of the first faces I would see in the morning – always smiling and warm. You certainly added much-needed tranquility to such an intense environment. You definitely shined luminously and I know your light will continue to shine. Much love and many blessings go out to all who have had the honor and privilege to have been touched by you.
Julio man, we didn’t talk much, but when we did it was always so friendly and positive. You were so awesome and always had a genuine smile whenever we passed each other in the office and said “What’s up man?â€? I’m going to be a man here and admit a shed a few tears……Life is so precious, and I seen so much death in my lifetime, I’m tired of all of it all. It’s sickening and exhausting. I just wish we can all live forever.
All I have to say, was Julio was such a cool dude. This was such a horrible, horrible, shocking accident. I hope where ever you are Julio man, you’re at peace.
I still can’t believe that you are gone my friend. I will miss hearing “Suba-Shakaa� every time I saw you and miss all the fun times we had during work (like making it rain candy and the nerf wars). My condolences go out to all your family and friends. You won’t be forgotten sir, but you will truly be missed by everyone.
Hey All… I want to put together a picture / video montage.
If you guys can email [Nate@EeekBMe.Com] me your hi res copies of any pictures with Julio in them, I would appreciate it.
Thanks.
Julio,
I used to come in early on some days just to talk about MotoGP. We bought new motorcycle helmets together. We were going to throw MotoGP parties this year. You made me laugh so many times. Remember when we talked about me moving to your neighborhood, so we could ride in together everyday? When we went on rides, small or big, you were always there. We could always count on you. If life was hard, you made it easy again.
You had an air of confidence that made me smile. We were in Prescott, and freezing our asses off. I offered you my sweatshirt, and you turned it down because you said “I don’t wear red,” I laughed, and offered you my Jacket liner of which you accepted. That was a great ride and a great day.
I am at peace because I know you are, but with a tear in my eye, I am going to miss you everyday.
See you soon buddy
Julio, You were one of a kind, and the best of it. I will miss the laughter, and the kick_ss hair! I know you touched a lot of people by your interaction with them. I hope we will all learn from this sudden goodbye, the value of sharing how we truly feel about our friends and loved ones before it is too late. I am sure you are in a better place. We will meet again!
Julio…I am already missing you!! I called your phone a few minutes ago just to hear you voice one last time. I can’t believe I’ll never get to see you again. I’m hurting so much without you here. I just can’t believe you’re gone, I mean we were just with you on Friday night planning your birthday and try to convince you that you had to go to beer fest with us. I will never forget you my friend. I loved you like brother and I am going to miss you like one. You are one of the few people who truely touched my life and I will be forever greteful to have known you. So til the day we meet again, I going to miss you homie.
Hey Julio,
Although I didn’t actually get to “SEE” you in person, I know how great you are!
You are very responsible and very kind.
You always found a perfect answer to my problems!
I will miss you a lot!
Rest in peace….
You will be missed greatly in my heart. You were always the perfect gentleman to me, and were always there to put a smile on someone’s face.
So young. So much fun at our bowling events. I got to spend time with such a wonderful person, full of life, full of laughter. I will miss the opportunities to get to know you better. We know that you are in a better place. Have fun up there. I am sure your spirit will visit us often. God speed to you Julio.
Julio ( Julia ) Man … words can not describe what I feel inside. You are the light that shines in all our lives! You made everyone around you smile, laugh, happy, and a great listener to what ever problems we all had. Like Phillip said we were all together Friday !!! This is not real … Your suppose to be bugging me right now on IM !!! You are a great friend to me, I love you bro !!!! You are still and will always be my Eddie Munster !!! GOD bless you and your family ! I love you little brother !
Mexico,
Man I’m going to miss you. You left us too early. I’ll never forget you and how much fun we had when we were roomates. Good bye my friend, Untill we party again.
Life fast, ride hard!
If only we could have “one more pull, one more spinâ€?, but as you and I discussed so many times, it’s not what we get in this world, its what we do with it. The swirl of emotions coursing through myself and everyone else at this moment is a torrent, unequaled in most of our lives. The capacities with which you were able to forgive shall live on my good friend. Your presence in this world will not be forgotten, but instead will grow through each and everyone of us. I am sad that we no longer get to have the physical presence of your light. The world was and still is a brighter and better place because you were here. I am a better man for having known you and so to will be my children. You touched me, you touched us all. I am very grateful we ran into each other so recently. I will remember you as I last saw you… with our arms around each other, smiling, talking about the next time we see each other… I will see you again my friend. I miss you
Julio,
I just don’t know what to say. I’ll still don’t believe it’s true.
Why could someone as wonderful as you be taken from us? You have always been and will remain to be a positive influence in my life. The passion you had for life rubbed off on everyone here and we are all thankful for it. Even though this place is not as bright as it once was, your death has brought use all closer together.
I’ll miss you,
Schwimmer
Mexico,
So many memories, I don’t know what to say. I love you so much and feel empty now that you’re gone. You showed me a lot about myself, showed me what never to change and what needs some working on. I can’t stop crying, I want you to come back to us so bad. If I could trade places with you, I would in an instant. There wasn’t a person you couldn’t make happy. And ever since I’ve known you, you always brought a smile to my face. We had our hard times, but the love was always there. I’m gonna miss trips to San Diego, with breakfast at Kono’s, lunch at Ho Dad’s and dinner at Kabuki. Trips to the Bungalow will never be the same. There will be beer pong in your name for sure.
And I know when we ride, you’ll be there right by our sides…Well maybe a bit in front of me, cause I could never keep up with you bastards! As I write this, I still don’t believe it’s true. We had so much time together, but it doesn’t seem like it was enough. I’m greedy and want more. I want more memories of us going to the bar, our little four man biker gang going out for rides, hanging out at your place looking through the bowl, pool parties and BBQ’s at Dar’s. You touched so many, I really hope you know that. This is a great loss regardless of who you met. My children will know about you an what an impact you made to everyone you met. I love and miss you so much. I can’t imagine what your family is going through right now. My heart goes out to them all. I will see you soon Mexico.
Love Always,
He-Dar
=^..^=
Julio,
Wow, I still can’t believe this happened. To the one guy that always smiled, the one that seemed like he understood everything I told him, the one that always said the right thing to make you feel better.
I couldn’t believe it when Tiffany called me early Saturday morning. I had to check my phone a little later to see if I had been dreaming. It just didn’t seem real, that the guy who texted me Sunday asking if I was working had been lost. I’m so glad I got that text!! That ride Sunday was one to be remembered. You, my roommate, myself all posted on wheelies and the streaks that people saw as we passed them on the freeway. Then back to my house for a few beers while we BSed about bikes and laughed together watching Superbad. I still remember you waiting 30 minutes outside of work, waiting for me to get off so we could go ripping around all night. The night we thought we were getting pulled over, lol.
I have so many riding memories. I will be waiting for your next text, until then you always have a place beside me on the road. So long Bro!! You will be missed.
Julio, man.. you have been such a huge positive impact on my life during some extreme highs and lows. You taught me a lot about relationships including being a better husband and father. You were an awesome “uncle” to Noah and a great friend to Heather. I miss you tremendously but take comfort that your spirit lives on through all of the lives you have touched. Cheers
Julio,
Its been to long my friend since we last spoken. I can remember as it was only yesterday, you would call me “Houli�, short for my last name…man what things you would come up with. The way you carried yourself, upbeat and always smiling made all of us wonder what’s that inside joke you always had we didn’t know?
I send my warmest regards to you love ones and family. You will be missed.
Take care my friend.
Christopher Houlahan
A story for the pals:
I only rode with my brother once. He brought his bike all the way down to San Simon just to practice wheelies. He practiced all afternoon, then complained that his knees hurt from holding on so tight. He liked to scare himself and he really liked to scare me. I asked him to take me for a ride and when we started out, I said “don’t go really fast and don’t scare the hell out me”. I will never forget the feeling of flying down the road because, of course he went really fast, and of being with him. In that moment, on his bike. He absolutely loved it. And I loved it too. And him, for sharing it with me.
Little brother, no words can describe how much it hurts and how much I want you by my side. I will forever cherish the time I had you in my life. The girls will grow up with stories of the great “Uncle Ho-Ho”. Don’t forget to visit me. I love you. Liv
http://www.myspace.com/memorialforjulio
If anybody would like to visit it, you are all welcome to it.
His immediate family can be reached at this site for those that may not have made contact with us and want to. Thanks
Julio,
I can’t believe this has happened. 2008 has been the worst year of my life. I’m gonna miss you. That smile of yours could light up the whole room. I just saw you a couple of weekends ago at Axis for Bruce’s birthday. You bought me a $6 beer that both you and I looked at each other in confusion as to how could a beer be so expensive. Then later on I saw you and said damn, I’m gonna have to buy him one now. We tapped each others beer and said cheers cause of how funny it was. I love you and will see you some day. -David
Julio,
We were suppose to get tattoos soon. Last i saw him was Bruce’s Birthday. I wish i would have gone out Friday night to see him one more time but you never think the worst can happen to him…to anyone. Makes you wonder about your own life and how fragile life can be. The one thing i most remember about him is that one night we both wore the same shirt. The first time I actually met him. That will memory will always be the one that sticks out the most. All memory’s of Julio will always be with me. Rest in peace. I’ll see you up there buddy then we can both get our tattoos together!
Julio, my mind still refuses to accept you are gone, but in a way my mind is right because you will always be in my heart. I remember how I found out, I woke up around 5AM or so to Heather crying like I have never seen her cry and I was all groggy and confused, I then get on the phone and was in complete shock about what I was hearing. By the time we got to the house there were already some other people there. We spent the whole day just talking about what a great person you are. We would go from bursts of laughter to minutes of painful silence, back to laughter. I think you would be quite happy knowing you had such a positive effect on the people around you. I have never met a person that disliked you or had anything negative to say about you.
I will sincerely miss the time we had together, how we were always there for each other. There was nothing better than when you know I was in a bad mood and you said “lets go grab a beer at church” or told me you would be over on your bike in a minute to go out for a midnight ride. One ride I recall very well, we went out to the salt river at about 10:30pm or so and it was my first time out there so I had no clue what the road was like, and you guided me through the ride like a pro.
I sincerely wish I had gone on the Payson ride with you a while back instead of being a tired sissy. Also I beat myself up over not going out to ride with you a couple days before the accident, me and heather were having an argument and you asked me to go out, and I declined because I was on the other side of town. Had I known this would have been our last ride I would have been in like sin. But I am sure a lot of people would have made different choices knowing what we know now. Thats just life.
I cant truly put in to words how much I miss you man, all the times we have had together. I can honestly say we have never been in an argument(aside from the ones with a joking attitude) and I have never been angry at you. We are two very similar attitudes and I just wish we could have had more time granted to us in this life.
I rode my bike today, which was very hard, yet satisfying at the same time. I thought hard about selling my bike and decided you wouldn’t have wanted me to. I did need a a new helmet though so I got a KBC like your old one. on my way to work today I realized once more how much I love being on 2 wheels and I am glad you were there right next to me.
You will forever be with me when I ride.
-Justin Morris-
You’re a pickle. Yeah… I said it.
One hundred and ten came faster than I expected. Crazy timing. I won’t forget Havana, dancing to Picky, wording, adolescent class, pickles, breakfast, Stella beers… I suppose there’s a lot I won’t forget. Crazy mortality.
I think I know why – and you know what I’m talking about – I just hope it’s not so. Crazy wishes. I think about what I’d have done different. I hate thoughts like that because even if I’d have consciously done things different then, I’d still be thinking about what I’d have done different now. Crazy loose loose situations.
This one’s still my favorite: “No truer words have been uttered than you have not uttered, No greater truth has been than the truth you have not acknowledged. Forgive and do not judge me I am not who I was in time passed!� MAN you were talented…
Never before have I been so intrigued about existence after death. Where are you? What are you doing? What’s it feel like? Do you know? Crazy curiousness.
You remind me of the babe.
This will forever be different in this world because of you. But you knew that from day one.
Julio,
I regret that the last conversation we had on that Friday was me talking about how little protection I thought your gear gave you. I thought if I gave you a hard time about it, you’d maybe get something a little better but as always your witty comments won me over. I said that little X vest you had was cool looking but not very effective, it had no sleeves or anything and you laughed and told me that it protected your spine and chest well enough and your helmet guarded your head and that was all that mattered. I joked and asked you what you thought your arms and legs were, optional peripheral devices? You just laughed it off.
I don’t even know how to say what I’m feeling. We’ve known each other for awhile, worked together on more then one occasion. I’m really kicking myself in the ass right now because I never did spend much time with you after work. I never knew why you always talked to me. I can be so negative at times and no matter what I said or how I said it you, you always had some clever optimistic comment to come back with. Of all the people I’ve worked with over the years, you are the only one that I never known to have a bad day at work. So much energy and fun, damn smart too all wrapped up in one person. Everyday I walk past your cube and expect to see you there so I can ask you about what crazy hair color it is this month. Too many times I was caught in your nerf war cross fire but alas….. no longer. I’d give anything to be hit by your nerf bullets…. just once more.
I am from San Simon, Arizona, the community that Julio grew up in. I have known him, and his family, all of his life. When you all meet the Gonzalez family, you will immediately understand why Julio (Mijo or “Boy” to us) was such a great guy. He was raised in a good family, surrounded by good friends, and had a wonderful small town upbringing. Julio was living in the city and had made a good life for himself there. We are all so proud of his accomplishments. However, his country roots made him the successful young man he had become. As with any kid that goes through school here, he will always be a part of San Simon. We hope many of you can come to the services in San Simon so that his two worlds can meet. We ask God’s blessings on the Gonzalez family and all of little Julio’s friends.
The Webster Family
Julio,
You will be missed greatly. I remember all the good laughs in techsupport that we had and all the packet fights and nerf wars. I will remember you everytime i get on my bike and ride. As soon as the all the snow is gone I will go on a long ride dedicated to you my friend. To the friends and family, I am really sorry for your loss.
Chris F.
Our families have been the best of friends since our Moms started school here in San Simon. I have so many memories of Julio….all of them happy. That is what he did best, make people happy. We went on many FFA and sports trips together and he was always the one making us laugh. Even though we had not stayed in close contact I will miss him dearly. He was a great friend. The Gonzalez family is in my prayers.
To all of Julio’s Friends:
You guys came to us when we needed you most. You helped us to bear the grief and sorrow in our hearts as we layed our son to rest. Julio’s father and I will be forever grateful to you for you have restored our faith in mankind. You showed us what true friends our son had. You showered us with stories about our son, you cried with us and yes we laughed. As parents we believe our children are the greatest and we hope our child goes out into the world and touches just one person positively. You guys affirmed to us that our child did just that many times over. We opened our heart and you filled them with joy. Words cannot describe how we feel at this time and the indescribable grief we have yet to face, but we know that we gained a whole new family and with your help we will persevere.
Dave, your words are magic. Your expression is that of so many who lack the articulation that you are able to provide. Thank you for posting this deeply personal memorial for the people who knew and loved Julio – the Warrior Poet indeed!
I think of him every day, and wish that I had known him better, ridden with him, or hugged him more. He was a gift to us all, and I don’t know how to accept the goneness of him. Mostly I have been silent, reading the comments and letting the tears flow, feeling guilt that I am so sad when others have lost so much more with his passing, but I think I owe it to Julio to make it known (here, at least) that he was a powerful and joyful influence on me. I will miss him forever, no matter how brief our acquaintance.
I too just found this website. I had a dream about you last night and it was the first time I have dreamt about you since your passing. Of course we were drinking in a bar and we were having a great time and you got up to go somewhere, looked at me and said, “I’m fine.” I then woke up. It was you telling me you are doing ok. Everyday I think abou tthe last time i saw you. How I spilled potoatoes all over your car cause you were driving crazy and I was laughing so hard. How we tried to break into 7-11 cause we DESPERATELY needed cash for our burrittos. It is a great feeling to know how we said goodbye. I opened the car door, jumped out and turned around and gave you a big smile after you told me to come back soon. Every time I visited AZ, you were always the first one to call and first one to make sure you saw me. Granted I didn’t get to see you every day or every month for that matter, when we hung out, it was like I had never left. I knew you knew how much I loved you. I think I said it all the time. “Love you Mexico.” You would say right back, “Love you Irish.” My visits will not be the same, but I know I will see you soon and will continue to see you every day in my memories. I love you Mexico.
On February the 21 our family and all of our friends and family in Chandler got together and had the most amazing motorcycle ride from Churchills to Roosevelt Lake. We had 31 riders and several people following in cars. In the evening we all gathered at Churchills and had a party worthy of Julio. There were 3 live bands which were awsome. There was a constant loop of Julio pictures on a giant screen. So many friends. It was awesome. Not only did we have fun we cried and laughed and sang and raised some money. We got to connect with old friends and made new ones. During a the time when he died and know we did not get to talk and connec with everyone and I hope we did that this time. The weekend of the 7th, we will all be gathering in San Simon for another party to celebrate Mijo’s birthday. We are having a bar-b-que and dance and camping out and bonfires and just hanging out. We hope you can all come. We love you guy.
It’s February 23 2010 and I have spent the day thinking of my son Julio. I came home and put in the Imovie of his life and then sat and read all the letters again. As my tears fall, and I hurt so bad and wish more than anything that I could see my son again, I also laugh at some of the memories of him. His laugh was so infectious and his beautiful hands. My heart is hurting so bad right now even though I know God has you and you could’nt be in a better place I still want you here on earth. You were my baby boy, I love you so much.
February will forever be a difficult month.