About The Author

Ever wanted to tell me what you really think of me? What a jerk I am? How much fun I am on road trips? Now is your chance. I’m setting this page aside for anyone and everyone who knows me. Don’t know me? Then what are you waiting for? Go read the site or send me an email.

I was trying to figure out what to put here, and I thought that anything I put would probably sound over the top and a little ego-centric (cuz I am). So I’m asking you guys to do it for me. Anything will work, and I’ll put it all up there along with the name of who wrote each section or just under ‘Anonymous’ if you prefer. Do a fake background on me; extole my virtues; tell everyone how I steal the covers; I’ll put it up there. There is no time limit on it, so whenever you get around to it, just email me your contribution.

AIM me!

Email me!

If you like what you see around here, type your email address in here and click the button. You’ll get an email when updates are made.

According to Daani:

The origins of this author have never been confirmed. Some say that he came from the wildest Highlands, others that he appeared from the most frigid regions of Siberia. There are even rumors that link him to the south of France, the Mojave Desert, the Great Pyramids, islands in the Caribbean, a lowly village in Belarus, Madagascar and New Zealand.

Again, none of this has been confirmed.

The only information we can be sure of is that he was born sometime in the 1970’s.

An ambitious child, born under a generous star, he possesses a great intellect, though a somewhat depraved sense of humor. While his accomplishments in mathematics, computer engineering, astronomy, psychology and general sciences are noteworthy, his greatest achievement so far is his ability to put pen to paper. He has yet to destroy either with the action.

Sadly, as so many unique individuals around the world, he is greatly misunderstood. Our sources – highly trained scientific and medical teams – believe it is caused by his aforementioned sense of humor. Because of this defect, as some might call it, human interaction is limited to professional banter and internet chats. Nevertheless, against all odds, he managed to create and maintain a circle of friends, as well as to ensnare a rather fetching female.

Our teams are still looking into how that happened…

His infrequent, though thoroughly engaging journal posts have captivated individuals all over the world and, though he argues that he takes from life, it is difficult to believe that the events he describes are not completely imaginary. Then again, one never knows, does one?

In conclusion, we find ourselves stumped by this anomaly. Never before has intellectual genius peacefully coexisted with creative imagination in one individual. Could it be that all our research has been in vain? Could this man actually not be a man at all, but some supernatural being come to Earth to bring humanity out of the gutter?

An alien.
A faery.
An elf.
The antichrist.
The abominable snow man.
The world will never know…

Oh, and he cooks too… go figure…

According to Jenna:

If you ask a muse to describe its artist what do you think the muse would say?

He questions everything. He is never satisfied. He is easily disappointed. When inspired, he is almost frightening, but so addictive at the same time. He could look at you and make you feel inside out. He is the kind of man you feel compelled to impress. He loves to learn and make love and learn about making love. He’s a dancer, a writer, a cook, a linguist, a child of god, the man of many dreams, a heart breaker, the end all be all to a brown eyed southern snow white. He stole my heart, he still has it, I don’t want it, he’s thrown it away. He’s amazing, he’s simple,…. The smell of his cologne still makes me swoon. I will always remember him, I’m still trying to forget. I’m so glad I knew him, I only wish I really had.

According to Em:

over my wrist

he kisses me

and i’m dripping.

dripping.

touching the lace

that ties my blouse

and it’s slipping,

slipping.

stripping my flesh

like petticoat layers

in spurts,

in moments,

my heart

layed bare.

my razorblade.

my razor blade.

According to Black Berries Girl:

What do I say about Dave? by me.

He’s polite, uber-smart, friendly and charming. He plays these tried and true “Dave mind tricks” on women so they will fall in love and swoon all over him. He’s very intelligent and can mulit-task which is a rare quality in a guy. He’s a man that doesn’t think it’s a big deal to rub shoulders with celebs. *cough*Tom Welling* cough*. He’s a tease and refuses to give me a verbatim minute by minute, second by second report of his encounter with Tom Welling (who is so dang hot! Who can resist Tom’s eyes… those lips… that smile… his body…but I digress.) I’m not here to gush about Tom, I’m here to gush about Dave….

Dave has a “Dave is a cougar in bed” Club by the ladies who’ve hit the sack with him. He brags that he’s an excellent lover. He thinks he’s pretty hot and boasts about women “trying” to pick him up. His adoring fan club of women are saddened to learn that the only woman he is totally head over heels in love with is ‘peaches’. His world revolves around her and she’s constantly on his brain even though he doesn’t want her to think that. She has him wrapped around her finger (although he doesn’t see it like that). I know he’d sacrifice a goat, jump over the moon and change jobs for this girl… Now that’s love.

The most amazing quality that I admire about him is his way with words. As President of ‘Dave should write a book’ Club, I think he is phenomenal. His words are truly beautiful! They cause the soul to awaken and emotions to run wild as you read the tales he weaves. He has a wonderful gift that captures your imagination. I wish he would write a book and share his talent with others. His book would be #1 on the best sellers list.

Dave really is a good guy and I feel privileged to know such a special human being. You’re one in a million Dave.

According to Leslie:

I think if I actually met Dave in person the first thing I’d have to do is pull the stick out of his ass. He has to be careful though cuz the stick keeps the size of his head proportional to his body. I’m sure he’s shorter than he looks. We all know Dave thinks he makes the world’s best spaghetti. I just don’t understand why is favorite dessert is Georgia Peach Pie especially since it gives him such terrible heartburn.

I think sometimes he uses big words because even HE doesn’t understand what the hell he’s trying to say. Perhaps Dave thinks he’s so good looking because of his co-workers. That’s like working at a mental institute and coming out thinking you’re Einstein.

According to China Doll:

Very few people are born with wings, and even fewer ever figure out how to use them. This guy knows how to soar. He is someone you meet once every other lifetime, and when you do, you are not changed, but utterly transformed.

Some say errors are man’s portals of discovery. But I say Dave is man’s portal of discovery. The amount of wisdom and insight he imparts is incredible.

His nunchuck skills are unparalleled, and he receives fanmail by the bucketloads. His exuberant smile could melt a polar ice cap, and the laws of physics do not apply to him. Not only is he a beholder of the secrets to success and happiness, he can also wow your pants off with his remarkable piano talent.

His unceasing sense of optimism is unlike any other. Give him a hurricane and he’ll dance around in the rain; toss him a rotten tomato and he’ll make the best salsa you’ve ever tasted. Boy, he sure loves salsa.

Dave is pretty much the kind of guy statues are built in honor of… just you wait and see.